I guess I have been slacking! Well, my last post was about my son being born and my dad being there through it all. Before my son was a year old my dad was diagnosed with CLL. (Cronic Lymphomia Lukemia) Cancer. It was a heart breaking thing to hear especially since my dad was my rock! He started chemo soon after finding out. Im not sure of the name of the chemo he was on but he was sick 24/7. There were many times he didn't even get out of bed. He went to treatments and was constantly getting his blood drawn and just being stuck with needles! He was secretly scared of needles. My son's first birthday started approaching and I had everything planned out. It was at a golf resort that my mom worked at. I had the room decorated and set up with streamers, balloons and food galore! There was my dad walking in...sick, bald, and getting skinnier. But, he was there. He later told me there was no way he was missing "Goobs" first birthday. He called my son Goober or Goobs haha! It was a very very good day!
The years went by and the cancer spread. He went through many different types of chemo and none seemed to last. They sent him down to Little Rock, which is about 4 hours away to have a stem cell transplant. The doctor almost guaranteed him that this would be the end of the cancer..the answer. He was gone for about 3 months. Let me tell you it was beyond hard! I wanted nothing more than to go down and visit him but I couldn't. He couldnt have any visitors other than doctors due to illness and germs. They informed him that during this process even a simple cold could kill him. I did however call him almost every single day! My son always had to talk to him too which made my dads day. The day he came home was like christmas. A few weeks later he went in for a check up and the doctor was confident that the transplant was a success. Best news ever! My dad started golfing, working again, and just being back to normal. That lasted a month or so then he started feeling down again. I kept telling him he needed to go back to the doctor but truth was he didn't want to. He had a feeling deep deep downt hat it would be nothing but bad news and he didn't want to hear it. It took a while to convence him he needed to go. FINALLY he went in and he was right. The cancer had came back and spread like none other. There he was back to being in bed 24/7, needing help getting up, loosing his hair, and getting skinnier. I knew he would pull through. It was just going to take time. He was beyond a good person. Things like this don't happen to good people. We had a conversation after the news and to be honest it scared it. He didn't want to go through chemo again. It was too hard on him and he had more down days then up. I didn't want him to give up his fight, I wasn't ready for him to give up!! He talked to a few people that had the type of cancer he had and they went to natural way vs chemo. He met with a nutritionist/health food dr. I was behind him 100%. I saw how sick the chemo made him and didn't want that either. Words can't express how happy I was to hear he was going to try SOMETHING! He started looking and feeling good in just a few visits. Got his strenth up, and his weight too. It was a very very happy time. Months went by; he felt he was getting cured and was relieved he hadn't been in a "real" doctors office in sometime. His chemo doctor had scheduled him to have a pet scan just to see his progree. Everyone was confident that the cancer would at least be 1/2 gone, shrunk up, or maybe just maybe gone! It had spread, taken over most everything. There was nothing else they could do. I remember getting the phone call on that Friday afternoon..."They gave your dad 2 weeks to 2 months." I don't even know how to describe the feeling that came over me. I couldn't stop screaming NO, No not my dad. The next day (Saturday) which was also Mother's day weekend my now husband, son and I went over for a visit. My dad was hooked up to a breathing machine. He looked good in my eyes, considering. You could see his ribs, the bones in his face, and his arms were small around then mine. I couldn't help but tear up. We got a few minutes alone in the living room and he sat up and asked me if I was ok. Secretly I was screaming NO on the inside but I told him I was fine. "Im not ready to go but I am ok with it." That's what he told me. Again, screaming No on the inside. He expressed how tired he was, he wasn't "himself" anymore. The cancer had taken over every part of his life. I understood that. I asked if there was ANYTHING he could do. "No." That's not what I wanted to hear. I figured there was something someone could do.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My younger years
I had a pretty good/normal childhood. My mom and dad got married when I was 9. I was the flower girl. That's when my dad moved in with us, after the wedding. Now, technically my dad was still married when I was born. He was going through a divorce at the time him and my mom met. He filed for a divorce and she refused to sign. Not very many people knew I was my dads daughter until after the divorce was final. It would have been a bigger mess if the news had gotten out.
I remember the day my dad moved in with us pretty well. He had a 1987 tan gmc pickup that he had backed up to the back porch. I had never seen sooo much stuff in my life unloaded from a truck til that day. He was an avid hunter and seemed to have collected every hunting book there was. We moved and rearranged everything in our house to fit him in. I was a very happy little girl the day my daddy came home! Most of my memories are of us after that day. I don't remember much before that. He was always there for us, even when he didn't live there. A true man, providing for his family. I don't want anyone thinking he was a bad man for having another family while still being married. He was an amazing dad and husband! Let me remind you that he filed for a divorce before he had met my mom. His wife, now ex wife, didn't want to loose her fortune. (They were very wealthy due to my dads hard work and his family) She went to Vegas one weekend and met a man, when she flew home she signed that papers, flew back to Vegas and married the man she had met.
My dad and I grew very very close. He was at every softball game I had, every school function there was, every activity I was in, he was there.
November of 2006 my boyfriend and I decided to get our own apartment. I was 6 months pregnant with my son. My dad was the first to see our new place. Helping me in every way he could. No matter what I needed, he was there. My son was born Feb of 2007. I was working for my dad when I went into labor. I told him I needed to go to the hospital, and he stood there like a deer in the headlights. haha! I drove myself and promised to call him when I found something out. After about an hour or so they had admitted me. My dad left work and met me at the hospital. I went in at 1pm and had my son at 11pm. He stood by myside the entire time. Well, minus my 30 minutes of pushing! He was such a proud papa! My son walked on water in his eyes.
I remember the day my dad moved in with us pretty well. He had a 1987 tan gmc pickup that he had backed up to the back porch. I had never seen sooo much stuff in my life unloaded from a truck til that day. He was an avid hunter and seemed to have collected every hunting book there was. We moved and rearranged everything in our house to fit him in. I was a very happy little girl the day my daddy came home! Most of my memories are of us after that day. I don't remember much before that. He was always there for us, even when he didn't live there. A true man, providing for his family. I don't want anyone thinking he was a bad man for having another family while still being married. He was an amazing dad and husband! Let me remind you that he filed for a divorce before he had met my mom. His wife, now ex wife, didn't want to loose her fortune. (They were very wealthy due to my dads hard work and his family) She went to Vegas one weekend and met a man, when she flew home she signed that papers, flew back to Vegas and married the man she had met.
My dad and I grew very very close. He was at every softball game I had, every school function there was, every activity I was in, he was there.
November of 2006 my boyfriend and I decided to get our own apartment. I was 6 months pregnant with my son. My dad was the first to see our new place. Helping me in every way he could. No matter what I needed, he was there. My son was born Feb of 2007. I was working for my dad when I went into labor. I told him I needed to go to the hospital, and he stood there like a deer in the headlights. haha! I drove myself and promised to call him when I found something out. After about an hour or so they had admitted me. My dad left work and met me at the hospital. I went in at 1pm and had my son at 11pm. He stood by myside the entire time. Well, minus my 30 minutes of pushing! He was such a proud papa! My son walked on water in his eyes.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
From the beginning
What better way to start a blog then from the start.
I was born December 9, 1987 to a new mother, my mother. I was my dad's third child, first daughter. My mom recieved a dozen red roses as soon as my dad heard of my arrival. He was unable to be there due to work. He was a proud owner of his very own meat packing plant. Why couldn't he leave, you ask? I will get to that at a later date. It gets complicated. A whopping 6 lbs I was. My aunt chased the nurses down the hallway when they took me to clean me up. I guess she thought they weren't going to bring me back haha!
When I was 3 years old my mom had found the perfect little white farm house in the country. My dad gave her the money for the down payment without even seeing the home. A few months later, that house became my home. My dad didn't move in with us until I was 7. (I will get to that at a later date too) Some people don't understand how I am closer to my dad when he wasn't around all that much til he moved in. You will see as my blogs are posted and my story unravils. :)
My mom was 29 when I was born. She didn't want kids. I don't know how many times I heard that while living at home. It use to hurt, but I got past that. You would think my mom and I would have a close bond, but we don't. Now, we don't hate eachother or anything, were just not close.
I had 2 dogs growing up. Nick and Dolly. They were 1/2 Chow 1/2 Rotweiler. One summer day I was out in the yard playing with rocks, while my mom was inside in the kitchen. A white van pulled up to the driveway. A man got out with a teddy bear. It immediatly caught my eye. He started making the bear dance back and forth, making me want the bear more. I started walking towards the van, I was only 5 foot away and next thing I know Nick runs up infront of me and sits on me. Now, Im stuck. He started barking, my mom ran out the door and started yelling. The van pulled away. As the started down the road my mom shot a hole in their van. After she got me inside she called the cops. Thanks to the bullet hole in their van, they were caught. The guys in the van were wanted for kidnapping. I had been sought out as the next victim! Nick and I were unseperable after that.
I was born December 9, 1987 to a new mother, my mother. I was my dad's third child, first daughter. My mom recieved a dozen red roses as soon as my dad heard of my arrival. He was unable to be there due to work. He was a proud owner of his very own meat packing plant. Why couldn't he leave, you ask? I will get to that at a later date. It gets complicated. A whopping 6 lbs I was. My aunt chased the nurses down the hallway when they took me to clean me up. I guess she thought they weren't going to bring me back haha!
When I was 3 years old my mom had found the perfect little white farm house in the country. My dad gave her the money for the down payment without even seeing the home. A few months later, that house became my home. My dad didn't move in with us until I was 7. (I will get to that at a later date too) Some people don't understand how I am closer to my dad when he wasn't around all that much til he moved in. You will see as my blogs are posted and my story unravils. :)
My mom was 29 when I was born. She didn't want kids. I don't know how many times I heard that while living at home. It use to hurt, but I got past that. You would think my mom and I would have a close bond, but we don't. Now, we don't hate eachother or anything, were just not close.
I had 2 dogs growing up. Nick and Dolly. They were 1/2 Chow 1/2 Rotweiler. One summer day I was out in the yard playing with rocks, while my mom was inside in the kitchen. A white van pulled up to the driveway. A man got out with a teddy bear. It immediatly caught my eye. He started making the bear dance back and forth, making me want the bear more. I started walking towards the van, I was only 5 foot away and next thing I know Nick runs up infront of me and sits on me. Now, Im stuck. He started barking, my mom ran out the door and started yelling. The van pulled away. As the started down the road my mom shot a hole in their van. After she got me inside she called the cops. Thanks to the bullet hole in their van, they were caught. The guys in the van were wanted for kidnapping. I had been sought out as the next victim! Nick and I were unseperable after that.
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